In this episode, Jon chats with Brad Watson, a proud dad of a Deaf child, who shares his journey navigating life as a parent. 🌟 Brad opens up about his experiences connecting with the Deaf community and the ways he’s learning New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) to strengthen his relationship with his tamariki.
Join us for an inspiring kōrero about the power of communication, whānau, and aroha. 💙
TRANSCRIPT:
Kia ora and welcome to Kōrero With Jon!
JON: My name is Jon, of course. I’m really excited to have with me today one of 2023–2024 NZSL Week Ambassadors, very involved, very passionate, very motivated person. This person is wanting to encourage hearing parents to learn New Zealand Sign Language, to give it a go. I’m excited to invite this person on, you may know who they are! Very funny guy, works in radio and media as well. He has a lovely wife and two children. One son is Deaf, and the daughter is hearing.
BRAD: My name is Brad. And my sign name is this, which stands for radio, which was given to me from the Deaf community, which was one of the highlights of my life. I just have to put that out there.
JON: It’s very special a sign name as well, it involves the work you do as well on The Hits radio. So thinking of B and the radio.
BRAD: And when you guys gave it to me, it was one of those moments where I’ve seen other people get given their names. It’s quite emotional to be taken in and brought into your community because it is a massive community. It’s such a caring community. And it just admits so much, even though I don’t know full sign language, to be brought in. Yeah, it means a lot to me, the whole thing does.
JON: Can you explain a bit more about yourself and what you do?
BRAD: So I’m basically in radio broadcasting media. I’ve been doing it since I was 16. I’m obsessed with music, with radio, producing music.
JON: You were 16?!
BRAD: Right. Yeah. I was straight out of school.
JON: You were young!
BRAD: Yeah, yeah. So I’ve been doing it for a long time, and now I’m sort of more behind the scenes, in programming and sort of building radio stations and training people. A little bit of audio work, but yeah.
JON: When you were 16, did you meet or interview any Deaf people?
BRAD: No, I think there was 1 or 2 kids at school, maybe, who had the big old skin colored hearing aids. But nobody in my family was deaf. My boy is the first hard of hearing person in our family. So I really didn’t know much about the community. It wasn’t part of our lives until 2021, when Finn was born.
JON: So when Finn was born, how did you feel about him being deaf?
BRAD: It was mixed emotions. Obviously, the child’s just been born, and that’s overwhelming in itself. And everything sort of stops, and you try to get your head around what’s happening. I did have some mixed emotions about it, because I thought that he was just going to struggle in life, and I really worried for him, knowing how kids bully and things, that my first thoughts were just that he was going to find it hard and I didn’t want that. I got bullied at school for other things, that a lot of us did get bullied. I just had this overwhelming fear of him going through life, being bullied and struggling and being on the back hand. So that was my biggest fear. But then when we got to know him and interact with him, I just realised straight away, it doesn’t matter. I forget that he’s got hearing issues, because he’s just as wild as any other kid.
JON: How did you feel about becoming a NZSL Week Ambassador last year?
BRAD: I felt like I had massive imposter syndrome. I was terrified, and I thought, why do they want me doing this? I don’t speak much sign language, but then when I understood what Deaf Aotearoa was doing, was trying to point out that anyone can do it and learn it. And that’s sort of what my position was coming in as a dad to a Deaf child, not knowing how to speak it and being there for the journey of learning it. I was very proud to be part of it. Really proud.
JON: You know, it’s a pleasure to have you on board and being involved in that way. It’s so rare to see fathers learning sign language for their deaf children. But you can sign, it’s fantastic.
BRAD: Yeah, we use it every day, just the little things. I’m definitely not fluent. As you can see, I don’t know what to do with my hands right now, because I don’t know how to add in too much. There’s a lag between my thoughts and what I say and signing. So, I mean, yeah, I can’t do it fluently yet, but we are getting lessons and we get support from Deaf Aotearoa. We have Maryanne. You all know Maryanne, who comes around and we learn off cue cards and toys and I am getting there.
JON: I can see you have huge love for Finn and you make an effort to connect with him, when he needs communication and attention. So, you became a NZSL Week Ambassador for your Deaf son, Finn, and the Deaf community, but looking back on your and your whānau’s journey, what made you want to learn NZSL?
BRAD: I just think it’s, as a parent, you do anything for your kids. And I was in the position where I was on the radio and had somewhat of a following where I could take part, put videos out, do social media like you do to just sprinkle bits of sign language out there to make it more known and more normal. And I just, I kind of had to do it. It just feels right to me to do this for him, because I’d do anything else for him. So this is just natural for me.
JON: Yeah, I’ve seen your posts with your family on social media, as well as your family in the newspaper, TV etc, so I reckon your Deaf son is more famous than me now.
BRAD: No, no, you’re still on the billboards. You’re famous because every time we see you on TV or commercials, my kids still go, and they’ve done it since we met you, “It’s Jon, Jon!” And it feels like, like I say, this community so involving, it feels like you are a close family friend to us. Even though we’ve met, what, 5 or 6 times? That’s just the vibe I get from the Deaf community. Same with Maryanne, our teacher. She’s like a grandparent now to our kids, and they hug her and they play on the floor and, yeah, it’s just… great community and yeah, thank you for coming into our lives.
JON: I wasn’t expecting to work with two Ambassadors, but after getting to know you both… I was shy the first time I met you, I didn’t know what to do, but after talking more with you, getting to know each other better, it felt so much easier to interact with you. It was wonderful and I enjoyed the time with you and Maria. I think you two are hilarious.
BRAD: But now you’re talking in front of people in Parliament and hosting nights. So that’s huge. Do you have a private jet yet?
JON: I wish! But no. Yeah, I’m lower class, not higher class. Yeah, it’s all right.
JON: How is it going with learning NZSL? Is it easy or has it been tricky for you, what’s your experience?
BRAD: Parts of it are really easy, if it’s words that we use over and over. So at home, the kids are using MUM, DAD, THANK YOU a lot. SORRY. MILK, which we use whenever we talk at home. Outside of that, I won’t lie, I do struggle with parts of it if I don’t keep practicing. Like I said earlier, I know what I want to say, and I want to get it out there quickly, but I struggle with a lag to get it to the signing point. If that makes sense. Yeah. I just need more lessons. Like anything, the more you do it, the better you get.
JON: What are your hopes and dreams for the future, for your family?
BRAD: Obviously, I just want my kids to do what they want to do, to have a fun life and hopefully take on jobs around their passions. And they just enjoy life like I have always had. The thing about if you enjoy something, like a good job. So, it’s up to them. I really don’t know. I just, I hope there’s no struggles for Finn. I hope we get through school okay. Like I said before, I hope he doesn’t get bullied. And, um… that’s all I can hope for now, yeah.
JON: If someone bullies Finn, what would you do?
BRAD: I guess it comes down to how we sit and talk with Finn, and get him through it. It’s quite hard with any bullying. Like a lot of the time, the kids won’t tell the parents. So I think with any bullying, maybe you have to take them out of the situation, talk to teachers. Because I guess there is an age of kids where they’re not too kind and bullying is quite a big thing. And if you’ve got a difference like that, it becomes easier to become a target. But the way I’ve been looking at it, there’s so many kids with glasses, and that’s just, that’s an impairment. So Finn’s just got hearing aids. To me, they’re just like a pair of glasses now. But I think kids seeing something different, like we walk past kids in the mall, and other kids will look at him and look at his ears and… I still don’t think he knows what’s going on. He’s only two and a half. Yeah, we’ll deal with that when we get to it. Hopefully we don’t. I think kids are becoming more forgiving of other kids with differences, you know, as the world moves on. I get the feeling he might be okay.
JON: Yeah, parents can become overprotective of their children, they want to shelter and protect them. Worried about the “what if’s”. I do believe that Finn will be independent, and remain connected with you and Mum as he grows up. Did you get bullied for being deaf?
JON: Yeah, while growing up.
BRAD: So how did you block it out?
JON: Well, you know, I can be a wild and aggressive Māori, like in the haka, confrontational. I can get angry and confrontational when bullied. Confront them with my signing. Try to replicate the feeling so when they stare at me, I look back at them like this. It really depends though. I can let the teacher know, or my mother. As you already know, my mother is incredible. She is fierce and will protect her children and confront the bullies.
BRAD: Does it get to a point where it starts, like an age where it’s more accepted for you?
JON: Yeah, I was bullied growing up but it stopped when I was a teenager, at around 16, 17 years old. This was because I took off my hearing aids and stopped using them. They didn’t make me embarrassed, I took them off because they were giving me headaches. Plus I felt more of an equal with others.
BRAD: That’s what I’ve been wondering. Finn hasn’t worn his… what are we up to, July 15th? He hasn’t worn his hearing aids for seven months. He was up until two years old. He takes them off, but we think they’re either too loud or they’re uncomfortable. He will not wear them. So we’ve sort of adapted and adjusted everything, and we still communicate perfectly.
JON: When I went to school, we were told that we had to wear hearing aids, and were in speech therapy. So, when I got home, I took them off to have a break. Yeah, it means if they come off, you know, and this is who I am, that’s my Deaf identity.
BRAD: What’s it like when you go to sleep? Do you take your hearing aids off and go to silence?
JON: It’s not comfortable wearing hearing aids when on the pillows! So I do take them off.
BRAD: What’s your favourite sign?
BRAD: I’ve got a couple. Because I remember you teaching me FLYING. So FLYING, I might LANDING and TAKE-OFF. Those are my favorites. I really love that. I’ve got that tattooed on my arm for Finn when I cuddle him. And I really like, I think the whole thing around this chat is LEARNING. I really like LEARNING because it’s literally you’re putting stuff into your brain.
JON: That’s right. Yeah.
BRAD: And we’re always learning as parents are always learning. But this on top of it, I mean, I love learning in general. So yeah, probably just LEARNING is my favorite one. What’s yours?
JON: Oh, I got to think about that. I don’t know, I haven’t really picked one. Yeah, I guess it’s a natural language for me my whole life.
BRAD: What was that? It was like a cowboy dance.
JON: NATURAL or NATIVE.
JON: When you look at Finn, what’s the best moment with him that comes up for you?
BRAD: I think every morning when he wakes up, he is the happiest little boy. And he runs up and he has a duddle, he calls it a duddle. And I really enjoy just him and I time, we go out and feed the ducks, and if we’re driving around, we have chats and listen to music and any time with him is really enjoyable part for me at the moment, because he’s got a cold and he’s quite particularly irritable. Yeah, any time when it’s just us together.
JON: When I see you and Finn together, I just… I feel like I respect you… because my father and step-father didn’t learn sign language for me. They only did gesturing and home signs. But you are learning NZSL. I really appreciate that you’re a role model for other fathers and men with families. It’s really nice to see.
BRAD: You know, I think you just have to learn whatever your kids are into. We’ve got the sign language thing, but also Piper, and she’s learning a lot of Māori. So she comes home singing a lot of Māori songs. So we’ve taken that on more as well, because we don’t want her to come home and Mum and Dad can’t do it, but she can. So, just being part of their world, in their lives and, you know, making sure that we can communicate and we’re up to date with all the lingo.
JON: What is your advice for new parents of deaf children?
BRAD: I think I’ve seen this in a couple of interviews, but don’t freak out about it too much. You’re okay. All of the Deaf people that I’ve met in this community are all okay. In fact, they’re better than most people I’ve ever met. Don’t worry. That’s fine. There’s help there. You’ll learn and they’ll be fine.
JON: Thank you very much, Brad. Now, it’s time to wrap up. I hope you enjoyed watching this interview and learning more about Brad’s story. I hope it will help you in some way in your life, for those new parents of deaf children. A bit of community is always nice. Thank you for watching!